To manage the expectations of Pentathanerd’s casual fans, the video below contains footage of Air Quote Quiz Show contestants reciting pi from memory (and rambling off as many digits as possible). Nerdery historians will consider this must-see TV, as will Pentathanerd Fantasy League players, but the casual fans will instead watch and re-watch Pinewood Lego Monkey Ball.
Pentathanerd’s Pinewood Lego Monkey Ball is revered throughout the wide world of sports and has fast become a fan-favorite with something for everyone – whether you’re into pinewood, Legos, monkeys … and even the sport’s cheaters seem sorta charming:
Next and last is The Summer Games’ final event: The “Air Quotes” Quiz Show, with a mid-day preliminary round and the finals at 4:30. We don’t dare broadcast it live (fear of wardrobe malfunction), so look for good/clean coverage of the finale, medal presentations and closing ceremonies on Monday.
Words will not do justice to a Scrabble competition that marked the midpoint of The Summer Games. Especially with words like “cheater” being played from under the table – on poorly hidden black tiles nonetheless, and an ill-needed black eye for The Pentathanerd.
Pentathanerd is kind of a big deal. This has pumped big sponsorship dollars into The Summer Games, and this makes us beholden to the makers/fakers of bacon. But please don’t let a bit of blatant commercialism/product placement keep you from enjoying these highlights from our championship chess round.
Having set out to cover my third Pentathanerd, I got caught up in its pageantry and rich tradition. I surveyed the field, assessed the competition, saw an opening, dropped the camera and crossed the line from objective journalist to fierce competitor. Almost as soon as I picked up the darts, a stinging sensation shot through my throwing arm – a hastily administered shot of steroids from some shady doctor who came out of nowhere. With a sudden horror I saw the seedy side of The Games. How could I have been so blind to legendary Pentathanerd athletes fraternizing with gamblers, their widespread doping, and the win-at-any-cost mentality that permeates sports? What’s worse, I did NOT win and was bested by dart throwers well over the line in more ways than one. See for yourself:
One the medal stand: Chris Locher “won” gold, yours truly settled for silver and Jon Rexeisen took the bronze medal. I’m renouncing my medal and going back to covering the games like the bulldog reporter I set out to be. Next up is the Chess championship round. Can you handle the truthiness?
The 2010 Pentathanerd Winter Games concluded with happenings that viewers of that other sporting competition up in Vancouver will not witness: software developers speedtinkering at the Hardware Teardown/Rebuild, and a Trivial Quiz finalist “winning” simply by refusing to answer the question – any question.
Spoiler alert: Greg Wurm won Hardware for dissecting/resurrecting a mouse:
Trivial Quiz clip, Great Moments in Nerdery: Pentathanerd creator Mark Seemann named names from The Hobbit (apparently he rattled these off without using a teleprompter; I was out sick – can’t verify). Relive the Trial Quiz qualifying round here.
Spoiler alert 3: Garnering the most points in combined events, Manish Shrestha won the coveted Pentathanerd All-Around Award for The 2010 Pentathanerd Winter Games, followed by Justin Hendrickson and Greg Wurm.
Astute Pentathnerd fans have noted (from leaked video, above) that the Snow Sculpture event was indeed won by Matt Tonak, and not Justin Hendrickson as earlier reported here. And yes, in previous Pentathanerd posts I’ve also cited a few unnamed/off-the-record sources. Lazy reporting? Sure, but it’s more than just that. Nobody’s talking on the record about Winter Game scoring snafus, and they (whoever they are) know I’ve stumbled somewhat close to the truth of the matter. Absent from The Nerdery for the last few events, I tried to stay on the story while fighting the flu with one hand and misinformation/injustice with the other. I even began to think, “This is no flu – ‘they’ve’ poisoned me.” World, we may never know the truth.
Anyway, plotting/training is already underway for Pentathanerd’s next Summer Games. Is there an event you’d like to see in the mix? The Pentathanerd Planning Committee will give serious consideration to nearly any competition; by now you know this to be true.
Having padded his total-points lead in accumulated events, Justin has to now be considered the clear favorite to win The Pentathanerd All-Around Award for the Winter Games. Let’s take a moment to view just some of the highlights that first established him as a popular yet polarizing Pentathanerd figure during The Summer Games:
Day 3 of Our Winter Games marked the first outdoor event in Pentathanerd history. Fans and competitors bundled up and trekked across The Nerdery’s parking lot to a snow bank for the LEGO Luge event. Here’s how things went (about halfway) down:
Except for the usual doping allegations and some fairly typical objections regarding sleighs with non-LEGO-ey features, it was a day of relatively good sportsmanship in and around Pentathanerd Village. No one’s talking about judging/scoring discrepancies – at least not on record. You get the sense, though, that more than a few Pentathanerd fans and competitors are still picking at lingering scabs from the Summer Games’ Rubixgate and Bogglegate).
Moving on, the Gold medal in LEGO Luge goes to Greg Wurm, who earned 920 points. Justin Hendrickson took Silver with 793 points and Matt Tonak wins the Bronze with 780 points. In overall Pentathanerd standings after three events, Justin is on top with 1473 points, followed closely by Manish with 1413 points.
Next up: The Winter Games will stay outside for the Pentathanerd Snow Sculpture competition. Not athletically inclined whatsoever? This one’s for you if you can follow these rules.
The Biathalon was created by peace-loving/cross-country skiing/gun-toting Scandinavians. These are my people. Some purists of the sport shuddered when Pentathanerd’s non-skiing version was voted into the Winter Games (and not just as an exhibition; it counts) by The Nerdery. These too are my people. Watch them shoot paper plates with Nerf guns and walk briskly to retrieve ammo:
Now, while it’s reasonably certain that Manish Shrestha has won the Biathalon’s Bronze medal, there are conflicting accounts of final placement on the upper steps of the medal stand. Pentathanerd judges have noted that Mark Hurlburt’s strong showing doesn’t jibe with how he skipped training and has entered the first two events at the last minute – seemingly on a whim.
One high-placed Pentathnerd judge has also conceded that it was Hurlburt who posted the third-highest score in the Trivial Quiz, thus qualifying for the Friday finals. Still, some have wondered aloud, “Is he a serious competitor?” Others note that he’s kicking some serious ass regardless.
Anyway, the Gold and Silver for The Pentathanerd Winter Games Biathalon almost surely belong to Minh Vu and Hurlburt – but in what order?
Sports fans: If you were worried about surviving the weeklong void between the Super Bowl and Those Other Winter Games, Pentathanerd has your back. Watch and wonder how they do it:
Top three finishers qualify for Friday’s championship round. In this Trivial Quiz Q&A, the answers appear to be redacted but you have a right to know; click on the far left side of the black “redaction” bar (or highlight it entirely) for final wisdom (courtesy of Penthathanerd founder Mark Seemann). The posted Pentathanerd rules are plain and simple and made to be broken.
Next up, Nerf bullets will fly as The Biathalon invades the Great Indoors (not in the face, Cheney.) Other events: LEGO Luge; Snow Sculpture/Snowflake Contest; Hardware Teardown/Rebuild; and Trivial Finals.
And until the mainstream media wakes up to what the people want, we will continue to provide exclusive coverage of The Pentathanerd Winter Games. Complete coverage at http://pentathanerd.com.
