Dankness at the edge of the Nerdery: A Chili Cook-off 09 recap

Today was Chili Cookoff day at The Nerdery. What follows is a totally true and not-at-all biased review of each of the entries in the contest along with pictures of the awards ceremony.

Entry #1

Looked upon as nothing but a prank, Chef Boyardee’s entry into the 09 Chili Cookoff not only garnered a second place finish (tied with #3), but it managed to do so on reputation alone. Nobody actually claimed to have tried the Macaroni with Beef in Chili Gravy.

Entry #2

Stunned by the beauty of this racing-red crockpot, our photog was a little shaky. Chili #2 started out with a nice bouquet of chili powder and a hint of ground black pepper. It finished with a piquant red pepper and was definitely a winner in our book.

Entry #3

In the interest of fair and balanced reporting, we allowed Ryan Kucera to review our chili. He said, “Chili #3 started with a sweet onion flavor with meaty undertones, but had a weak range of flavors. The red pepper seasoning left a harsh aftertaste reminiscent of reheated Hormel.” We would like to add that these are TOTAL LIES, because #3 tied for second with the Chef.

Entry #4

Entry #4 was a nice, medium-bodied chili with a crisp finish and a hearty bouquet. Featuring a pleasant melange of vegetables it had a nice, clean finish and a pleasing delicate bouquet.

Entry #5

Here we have #5, a delicious change of pace from many of the beef-based offerings on the table. This buoyant blend of chicken and spices was light and tasty with a pronounced character featuring hints of what we think were chili powder, cumin, and maybe a touch of parsley.

Entry #6

Garnet in color with a complex nose of Hormel and Lawry’s season salt, this full-bodied chili imparted generous meat and vegetable flavors ending in a pretty satisfying finish.

Entry #7

Big, bold and green — this was a treat! A blend of traditional chili’s structural intensity that perfectly complimented the ripe veggie and spice flavors of a hearty salsa.

Entry #8

I hate to spend any time on these kind of allegations, but we heard someone say that the person responsible for #8 was seen putting some of #3 in his pot in a desperate attempt to make it taste better. All we do is report the facts here.

Entry #9

Deep in color, this rich, velvety chili is full-flavored with a hearty aroma. A clean, spicy flavor that blends into a subtle black pepper flavor with green-pepper-like overtones made this a mighty popular pot of food.

Entry #10

A rich, dark red chili that was surprisingly smooth. With spicy undertones, and a full bouquet reminiscent of black currant, a subtle taste of the extra avocado added to the complexity of this dish. It aged delightfully in the crock and when all was said and done there wasn’t a drop left.

Entry #11

You might think this picture is blurry because our photog was unsteady or drunk, but you’d be wrong. This picture of #11 is blurry because of the heat radiating from that spicy, spicy chili. Upon trying #11 we heard one nerd exclaim, “my tastebuds are melting.”

The votes are in

Here’s how the vote shook out. There were no hanging chads or ballots in favor of the lizard people, however, there was one vote that simply stated, “not Bill.”

And the winner is. . .

Konr, the chef behind Entry #10.